Scotty Love: Talk to Your Kids

The Scotty Love Show wraps up with episode 10, and a lesson on how to talk to your kids. One of these dads has it right. You be the judge. Share and enjoy!

 

LESSON TEN
Speak Up!
Key Scripture:

ICE BREAKERS

When it’s election year, are you one of the quiet ones, or do you love to argue?

What other topics can get you going on a soap box? Movies you love or hate? Music? TV? Books?

How many of you have at least one good friend whom you completely disagree with on either religion or politics? How do you make that friendship work?

INTRODUCTION

Back in the 80’s, President Ronald Reagan spent most of his days battling over the issues with Speaker of the House Tip O’Neil. When the day was over, O’Neil would visit the White House to drink whiskey, tell jokes, and sing some old Irish songs.

You’d be hard pressed to find people in today’s America that can bury the hatchet like Reagan and O’Neil. The prevailing attitude seems to be, “If you disagree with me, you hate me, therefore, we can’t be friends.” State the “wrong” opinion on anything from abortion to pop music and your Facebook friend list might drop 20% in a day!

Jesus wants us to speak the truth, as written in his Word. He wants us to share it with our kids, our neighbors, our world. It’s not easy speaking a truth the world doesn’t want to hear, but the answer isn’t to fudge our way around it. We need to speak the truth, and we need to do so with love.

READ AND DISCUSS

Ephesians 4:14-15

Why is speaking the truth a necessary part of Christian maturity?

Do you think you have to water down the truth to speak in love? Why or why not?

Luke 9:23-26

What does it take to be a disciple of Christ?

What does Jesus say to those who refuse to speak out against the ways of the world?

Why would Jesus be so harsh in holding those who stay silent accountable?

If we do not speak out, what’s at stake? Why does Jesus want us to tell this rebellious world what he has to say?

CHALLENGE

How easy is it for you to discuss these topics:
Immigration?
The Environment?
Abortion?
Marriage?
Creation vs. Evolution?
Christianity vs. other faiths?

Have you ever lost a friend over something you or they said about something you believe?

Have you ever felt like the only person in the room that believed differently than everyone else? How did that feel?

Parents: What topics are hardest for you to discuss openly with your kids? Why do you feel so squeamish about those subjects?

Why doesn’t God give us the option of staying silent?
Why is it so critical to share the truth directly with our kids?

How can we speak the truth with boldness and love, knowing we may lose friends over it?

How can we support one another when one of our group has to speak out on a difficult subject?

WRAP UP

The Bible says to consider it pure joy when we are persecuted as Jesus was. That’s easier said than done. No one feels joy when they get unfriended in cyber space or worse, when someone tells us to our face they no longer wish to hear from us. We can’t control how people respond to the gospel, but that doesn’t give us an out. Jesus gave us his Word to share with others. We are his hands and feet, and we are the only ones who can continue to speak the truth. Let us speak boldly, and let us speak with love. The world doesn’t want to hear it, but they will never know how badly they need it unless we do speak up!

PRAYER

Dear God,

Forgive us for hiding in the shadows. Give us the courage to speak up. Give us friends to support us when we share your truth. And when we speak, help us to always do so in love. Use us to share your truth with a world that needs it.

In Jesus’s name,
Amen

Scotty Love: Praying for You

Scotty Love is back to answer the question: is it better to say you’ll pray for someone, or to actually do it?

LESSON NINE
Men of Action
Key Scripture: Matthew 21:28-32, Matthew 5:33-37.

ICE BREAKERS

How good are you at delegating things to other people? Do you trust others to get things done, or do you prefer to do it all on your own?

How does it feel when someone says they will do something and let you down?

Have you ever dropped the ball on an important task? What did (or didn’t) you do, and what happened as a result?

INTRODUCTION

Are you all talk, or are you a man of action? It’s one thing to say you’re going to do something, but it’s quite another to follow through. The world is full of people who make empty promises they will never fulfill, and the church has more than a few empty talkers as well.

God wants us to be men of action. When we say we’re going to pray for someone, we will. When we say we will be some place, we show up. We don’t say yes out of obligation and look for excuses to back out later, and we don’t give a half-hearted effort. When we say yes, we mean yes. We show up and we take care of business not because we want a reward, but because we are men of action!

READ AND DISCUSS

Read Matthew 21:28-32

Why was the man in this story more pleased with the son who said he wouldn’t help?

In what way did the Pharisees fail to do what they pledged they would do for God?

What was Jesus trying to tell the Pharisees – and us – in this parable?

Read Matthew 5:33-37

How does Jesus want us to answer requests from others?

Why do you think Jesus said we should not swear oaths or make vows?

What does God want to see us do rather than making promises?

CHALLENGE

How often do you say you will pray someone and you never do?

How often do you say yes to something only to back out or drop the ball later?

How can saying “Yes” and backing out later hurt our witness for Christ?

When people say yes and don’t mean it, there is usually a reason. Some are people pleasers. Some are just following the crowd. Some are afraid to say no, and some are just being polite. What causes you to say yes when you’d rather say no?

Why do you think saying “No” is such a struggle for people in general?

Is it ever okay to say “No” to praying for someone? How can we make sure that particular yes is one we always fulfill?

When people ask for more than prayer, how can we gracefully say “No” when we need to say no?

At the end of the day, what do you think makes more impact – telling someone we will help, or actually helping out?

WRAP UP

God didn’t call us to be people of words. He wants us to be men of action. When you say yes, don’t look for excuses, and don’t give a half-hearted effort. Let your yes be yes, and follow through.

Don’t over-commit yourself, and be honest from the start when you are unable to lend a hand. As Jesus said, it’s better to say no and then help out than to let someone down with a polite yes.

In the words of St. Francis of Assisi, “Preach the Gospel at all times and when necessary use words.” Don’t be a man of empty words. Preach the gospel by your actions!

PRAYER

Dear God,

Make us men who do what we say, and do everything we undertake as if we were working for you. Forgive us for the times we fall short. Teach us to say no when necessary, and use us to spread your Word through our actions.

In Jesus’s name,
Amen

Scotty Love: Integrity

This week, Scotty Love does what he does best: shoots his mouth off on a topic he knows nothing about. Share and enjoy!

LESSON EIGHT
Liar Liar
Key Scripture: Proverbs 6:16-19, Colossians 3:9-10.

If you could choose one profession – lawyer, politician, Hollywood actor – whom would you say you least respect as a group?

What is it about those groups that makes them so hard to respect?

Who is someone you know that you admire and respect? What makes that person so admirable?

INTRODUCTION

Integrity is one of the rarest and most valuable characteristics a man can have. It’s also one of the most fragile. Integrity takes a lifetime to establish and build, but it only takes one mistake to destroy.

What’s more, one person’s stumble can be the downfall for an entire group. We assume all politicians lie because we’ve seen so many lie. And we assume all Hollywood actors to be hypocritical, drugged out train wrecks because so many turned out to be just that. And many people assume all Christians are hypocrites because they’ve met people like Scotty Love.

The world has come to a point where pretty much everyone is expected to lie and fudge a little. God wants us to be different. He wants us to stand out. Nothing will make us stand out more than being men of integrity, men our families, churches, co-workers, and friends can always trust.

READ AND DISCUSS

Read Proverbs 6:16-19

What does God think of lying?

What are some of the other things God hates as much as lying?

Why do you think God equates lying to shedding innocent blood, plotting evil, or causing divisions and discord?

Do you think this hatred extends to little white lies, half truths, and the like? Why or why not?

What other ways do we deceive people besides lying?

Read Colossians 3:9-10

Why is it incumbent on Christians to be people who tell the truth?

CHALLENGE

What are some of the reasons why people tell lies?

Why would Christians lie to one another?

Has someone you know or admire ever let you down by having their lack of integrity exposed?

What did it take for that person to regain your trust – or did they?

Why is it so hard to put faith in people who have deceived us?

Is lying essential in certain careers? Why or why not?

Is it possible to be completely truthful no matter what your occupation? What consequences might a person suffer for being honest at all times?

Are those consequences worth the loss of integrity?

Is there anything you’d trade your integrity to gain? What else might you lose in addition to your integrity if you did?

WRAP UP

Being honest can cost you dearly. It can cost you money, your job, or any number of worldly desires. But once you’ve sold your integrity for worldly gain, it’s nearly impossible to get back. A good reputation is the most valuable resource in the world. Not only does it mark you as a man who can be trusted, it makes you a light for Christ in a world of liars. Don’t trade your integrity for temporary gains. Stay honest, be truthful, and store your treasure up in Heaven.

PRAYER

Dear God,

Forgive us for the times we compromise and choose worldly things over you. Give us the courage to tell the truth and be different, and help us to guard our reputations as godly husbands, fathers, and men.

In Jesus’s name,
Amen

Scotty Love: Guard Your Heart

Week seven of the Scotty Love series is all about guarding your heart. That pesky little rule about purity of thought doesn’t end when you get married, guys. Share and enjoy!

LESSON SEVEN
Guard Your Heart
Key Scripture: 1 Corinthians 6:12-20, Matthew 5:27-28.

ICE BREAKERS

What’s your favorite guilty pleasure food?

Do you have a guilty pleasure movie or TV show? What is it? What is it about that movie/show you love?

What other guilty pleasures do you enjoy?

INTRODUCTION

As Christians we know that Jesus has paid the price for our sin, but Paul urged the early church not to take their forgiven status for granted. The blood of Christ doesn’t give us a license to sin. Jesus wants us to be transformed from the inside out. Keeping our insides cleaned requires us to put a filter on all we bring into our hearts.

It’s harder than ever to keep our hearts pure because technology has made sinful material so much easier to access. Hardcore porn is available free of charge, 24/7, on any device. Many men truly believe that anything other than the physical act of adultery is acceptable, but Jesus doesn’t give us that option. (Matthew 5:28.) We need to guard our hearts and minds, and that starts by guarding our eyes and ears.

READ AND DISCUSS

Read 1 Corinthians 6:12-20

What does Paul mean when he says everything is permissible but not beneficial?

What does Paul say about our bodies?

What does God want our bodies for?

Re-read verse 15, then read Matthew 5:27-28.

How do these verses re-define the sin of adultery?

Why is it important that we not merely avoid the physical act of adultery but avoid lusting in our minds?

Do you think sinful thoughts lead to sinful actions? Why or why not?

CHALLENGE

Honesty time: how many of you have seen porn on the Internet, either intentionally or by accident?

How many of you have intentionally looked for porn on the Internet or other outlets? How quickly can you find it if you want it?

Has pornographic material had an impact on your relationships with women? How so?

Many of the women and men involved on porn sites are not there because they want to be. They are overseas, where laws are different, and they are forced to do such work. Those that work in this country are often victims of abuse, many have addictions to drugs and alcohol, and many suffer from STDs. How does patronizing such material perpetuate the suffering of these people and others trapped in the sex trade?

When are you the most tempted to look at something pornographic?

Have any of you used any filters or other safeguards to help avoid that temptation?

What can we do to keep each other accountable so that we will not be tempted to sin?

WRAP UP

Anyone who believes porn is a victimless, private affair is deceiving themselves. Over time porn can lead to a lack of satisfaction with your wife, and it can lead you to cross over to the physical act of adultery.

What’s more, porn helps to fuel the multi-billion dollar sex industries around the world including porn, prostitution, and sex slavery. When we give our money or just our time to porn, we are not merely committing adultery. We are just as guilty to exploiting those trapped in sex slavery as those who put them there.

Make a commitment to keep your heart and mind pure. Do it for God, and for your spouse. Do it for those who are held captive in a life they can’t escape. When the temptation comes, pray for God to give you strength, and pray for God to end the sex trade for good.

PRAYER

Dear God,

Forgive us for giving our bodies and minds over to sin. Teach us to be strong, to run to you when we are tempted. Help us keep our minds and bodies pure. We pray too for those trapped in sex trafficking. We ask you to bring an end to sex trafficking, and we ask that you will use us to educate others about this horrible crime.

In Jesus’s name,
Amen

Scotty Love: The Single Life

This week on The Scotty Love Show, Scotty weighs in on being single. Share and enjoy!

LESSON SIX
Flying Solo
Key Scripture: 1 Corinthians 7:32-35

ICE BREAKERS

Married guys: What are some things you miss about being single? (Things that you could do before but rarely/never do now.)

Single guys: What are the things you least enjoy about being single?

Married guys: How many of you wish you’d enjoyed your singleness more when you had it and taken more advantage of that freedom you had?

INTRODUCTION

Every church has a different way of handling singles. Some churches offer them special programs. Many don’t. Many of those who offer programs do so to help singles hook up and find their perfect helpmate, but is that truly what God wants the church to do for singles?

Paul had some sharp words for singles, and for those who see singles as “incomplete.”  Single people are better able to respond to the call of the Lord. They have no attachments and no familial obligations that would keep so many married people from answering the call of God. They are better suited for missions, here and abroad, and for ministries that demand a great deal of the folks who undertake them.

Singles need Jesus more than anything else. They need spiritual encouragement more than they need a soulmate. Let’s take an honest look at how we and our church view singles and see if God might have us change the way we treat his singles.

READ AND DISCUSS

Read 1 Corinthians 7:32-35

What are some of the arguments you’ve heard for getting married young?

What are some of the negatives about getting married young?

Married guys: Why do you think married people are so inclined to want to “pair up” their single friends?

Single guys: How does it make you feel when someone comes up and offers to hook you up with the “perfect” person?

Married guys: What are some things you can’t do for the Lord because you are married?

Single guys: Are there any ministry activities you couldn’t do if you were married?

Single guys: What are some of the temptations you face as a single person that make it harder to follow God?

Married guys: Have those temptations decreased, stayed the same, or increased since you got married?

Single guys: What are some things you wish your married friends understood about you and being single?

Married guys: Are there any lessons you learned from singleness or married life you’d like single guys to know?

How is our church serving the needs of singles?

Are we lifting them up spiritually, are we just facilitating a “meat market,” or are we leaving them to their own devices?

Why do you think so many churches neglect the spiritual growth of single people?

How can we as a church better meet the spiritual needs of singles?

How can we as a group encourage the single men in our group and the rest of our church?

WRAP UP

God has a plan for every stage of our lives. That includes being married and having a family, and the time that comes before – being single.

If you’re married, don’t be the guy who convinces God’s servant to rush into something ahead of God’s time. And if you’re single, don’t be rushed by peer pressure or loneliness. Commit your heart to the Lord. Serve where he leads. Be content to wait on his choice for you. And be nice to your married friends. They do mean well, even if they are misguided.

PRAYER

Dear God,

Thank you for the way you speak to us at every stage of our lives. Bless the singles in our group and in our church. Help our singles to stay focused on you, and help our married couples to encourage singles to keep you first in their lives.

In Jesus’s name,
Amen

The Scotty Love Show: How to Judge Others.

Sorry for the short hiatus… The Scotty Love Show is back with part five. This week, Scotty teaches you the proper way for judging your neighbor.

Share and enjoy!

LESSON FIVE
Judgment Call
Key Scripture: Luke 18:9-14, Matthew 7:1-5

ICE BREAKERS

When you watch a movie trailer, how do you decide whether a movie looks good or looks like a pass?

When a new restaurant opens up in town, how do you decide whether or not you will check it out?

When was the last time you saw/heard a new music artist that you really, REALLY didn’t like? What was it that made you decide you disliked them?

INTRODUCTION

Every day we make judgments. We judge movies based on their posters and trailers. We judge restaurants by their appearance and commercials. We judge musicians based on their looks as much as their musical ability (or lack thereof). We all have certain tastes – things we like and dislike – and we use those standards to judge everything from pop culture to new technologies to people.

Some people make a good living by making judgments about other people. Hiring managers and temp agencies are trained to identify qualified, motivated workers who fit an organization’s goals and culture. These people have to be picky; their jobs and their companies’ futures depend on it. But the same is not true for the church.

As Christians we are to love the world as Christ did, welcoming sinners and lepers and everything in between without question. But how good are we really when it comes to welcoming one and all to God’s house on Sunday?

READ AND DISCUSS

Read Luke 18:9-14

How would the people listening to Jesus tell this parable have viewed the two men in this story?

If Jesus were telling the story today, who might he have used as examples of the Pharisee and the sinful man?

How did Jesus’s appraisal of these two men differ from the way his listeners judged them?

Going back to our movie question – have you ever found a movie to be less than you expected based on its trailer? What movie was it, and why were you so disappointed?

What flaw does this parable expose about judging people based on their appearance?

Read Matthew 7:1-5

Why does Jesus advise us not to pass judgment on others?

How does Jesus say he will judge us?

CHALLENGE

What standards do you see people using to judge new comers in our own church?

Do you think the people in our church “screen” visitors before really reaching out to them?

Judging others isn’t restricted to visitors. How do you hear people judging (or should we say gossiping) about their brothers and sisters in Christ?

What kind of damage can such judgments do to our church family?

How can judging others, visitor or member, cause damage to the people we judge?

How do you think God wants visitors and those outside our church to view us as a church body?

How do you think people outside the church actually view us?

Changing the way our church judges others begins with us as individuals. What can we do as individuals to stem the tide of judging others?

Can we come up with a gentle way to steer other people away from gossip and judgment when we hear it?

WRAP UP

Becoming a more loving, less judging church has to begin here with us. If we don’t change, we can’t expect others to change. The people outside this church are no more sinful than those of us inside the church. We need to remember that Jesus died for them the same as he did for us, and we need to remember we are no better than they in the eyes of God.

Let’s pray that God will make us a more welcoming people, beginning with our group and our families, and pray that as a church, we will be a body that welcomes everyone in Jesus’s name.

PRAYER

Dear God,

Forgive us for the way we have judged others. We know that we are all sinners, and none of us are better than anyone else who walks through our church doors. Give us open hearts to welcome everyone you send our way.

In Jesus’s name,
Amen

Free Skit: World’s Fastest House Warming Party

Jeff and Addie are friends of mine in real life. I certainly hope they’ve never been to a party like this, but I’m pretty sure this is how it would go down if they did. Share and enjoy.

World’s Fastest House Warming Party
By John Cosper

CHARACTERS
Todd- A foolish builder
Ron- A wise builder
Jeff and Addie – Neighbors
Other party guests

Tables are set on on stage with drinks, snacks, etc. A sprinkling of party guests are on stage enjoying the food and drink. Todd has a tray of hors d’oeuvres and is serving as the lights come up. Jeff and Addie enter.

TODD: Hi there.
JEFF: Hello. Is this the house warming party?
TODD: Yes it is. I’m Todd Maxwell, and you are?
JEFF: I’m Jeff, and this is my wife Addie.
ADDIE: Hello.
TODD: Hello, thank you for coming. Care for an hors d’oeuvres?
ADDIE: Ohh, thank you.
JEFF: So you’re the guy who built the house?
TODD: Yes, sir, I am. How do you like it?
JEFF: I love it.
ADDIE: It’s so beautiful!
JEFF: Is this real marble we’re standing on?
TODD: It is! I ordered that special from Italy.
ADDIE: It’s gorgeous.
JEFF: I told you we need to do this when we re-do our kitchen.
TODD: Have a look around. I spared no expense, from the foundation up to the attic.
ADDIE: It’s all very lovely.
JEFF: Yeah. There’s just one thing I don’t get. Why did you build your house down here on the beach and not up on the rock?
TODD: (laughs) Have a drink, folks, enjoy the party.
JEFF: But I–
ADDIE: Oh, look, Jeffy, they have Near Beer!

Addie and Jeff walk over to a table to get some drinks. Ron enters.

RON: Hello, Todd.
TODD: Hey there, Ron. How are you?
RON: So, you really did it. You built your house.
TODD: It’s a beauty, isn’t it?
RON: It is… for now.
TODD: Still don’t believe it’s going to last?
RON: I told you from the beginning, for a few dollars more, you could have built on the rock up the hill next to mine.
TODD: Have an hors d’oeuvres and stop worrying. This house isn’t going anywhere.

There’s a gust of wind, loud crack, crumble, and crash sound, followed by a scream. Jeff walks over to Todd.

JEFF: Hey, buddy, I think the bedrooms on the back of your house just broke off and fell into the sand.
TODD: Nonsense, Jim.
JEFF: It’s Jeff.
TODD: Have another hors d’oeuvres and enjoy yourself.

Jeff walks away with an hors d’oeuvres. Addie excuses herself silently and exits.

RON: This is what I was talking about. This house won’t stay very long on the sand. There’s a pretty strong wind blowing out there, and all this marble and stone and brick is only going to make it sink faster.
TODD: Don’t you have a place of your own to hang out?
RON: I do, and if you’re smart, you and all these people will move this party up to my house. I’ll fire up the grill.
TODD: I already have a grill fired up out back.

There’s a gust of wind, loud crack, crumble, and crash sound, followed by a scream. Jeff walks over to Todd.

JEFF: Hey, buddy, your back porch just fell off your house into the sand. I think it’s on fire!
RON: There goes the grill.
TODD: Everybody just calm down. This house isn’t going anywhere. It’s solid marble.

There’s a gust of wind, loud crack, crumble, and crash sound, followed by a scream. Jeff runs to stage left and looks.

RON: There goes another one.
JEFF: Hey, buddy! Your bathroom just fell into the sand – with my wife in it! Addie!

Jeff runs off stage.

RON: Okay, Todd, party’s over. Everyone, we’re getting out of here, now!

All the party guests exit quickly, ignoring Todd.

TODD: Don’t listen to this know-it-all! He’s just trying to steal my thunder. He can’t stand that I built a better house here on the sand and proved him wrong!

There’s a gust of wind, loud crack, crumble, and crash sound, followed by a scream. Jeff and Addie walk through. Addie is completely covered in sand and dirt and looks like Pig Pen as she crosses.

ADDIE: Bye bye, everybody! Thanks for the hors d’oeuvres!

Jeff and Addie exit.

RON: Are you coming?
TODD: No way! I’m staying right here.
RON: Okay, then. Good luck!

Ron exits.

TODD: I don’t need luck! I have a beautiful house, and it doesn’t matter what I built it on. Nothing’s gonna take this house –

There’s a gust of wind, loud crack, crumble, and crash sound, followed by a blackout on stage.

JEFF: (a long way off) Hey buddy, you okay down there?
TODD: (clicks on a lighter) Great! Never better. Would one of you mind cutting a hole in my roof?

Free Skit – “If It Feels Good”

We got in trouble with this skit once. I think the skit speaks for itself without coming out and saying what the message is, but apparently there are some people out there who would prefer that you come out and teach a lesson during or after a skit rather than having to read between the lines.

I have a feeling those people would have hated Jesus’s sermons.

Here’s one of my all-time favorites, and a favorite of the touring company. And no, I’m not going to come out and say what it means here either.

Share and enjoy.

If It Feels Good
By John Cosper

THEME: Relativism and morality

CHARACTERS
Simon- A new age thinker
Lenny- A passer-by
Chuck- A cop

(Simon is on stage, holding a sign that says, “If it feels good, do it.” Lenny enters, reads the sign.)

LENNY- Hi there.
SIMON- Hi.
LENNY- What’s this, a political protest?
SIMON- Kind of. More of a moral protest.
LENNY- I see. What does it mean?
SIMON- I’m protesting the notion that there’s an absolute set of morals that determine
what’s right and wrong for everyone.
LENNY- Sorry, you lost me. Care to explain in English?
SIMON- Well, see, just because of the Bible and the silly 10 commandments, people
think there’s only one set of morals for all of us to follow. But you can’t expect everyone to live by the same set of morals, can you?
LENNY- I don’t know, can you?
SIMON- Of course not. I believe each individual has the right to make up his own mind
what’s right and wrong, and to stick by those values.
LENNY- In other words, if it feels good, do it.
SIMON- Exactly.
LENNY- I see.

(Pause, then Lenny punches Simon in the face.)

SIMON- OWW… what was that for?
LENNY- Just following your advice. You know back in school one day I asked a bully
why he was beating my face in, and he said it felt good and you know what? (punches Simon again) He was right!
SIMON- Oh, my face?
LENNY- I wonder if it feels as good in the (punches Simon in the–) stomach! And a (karate chops Simon on the back, who falls) chop to the back!
SIMON- Ohhhhhh!!!
LENNY- And a few kicks to the gut!!

(Lenny kicks Simon several times.)

LENNY- Wait right there. I want to try something else.

(Lenny runs off.)

SIMON- What are you doing? (sees Lenny off) Oh no.. no!!

(Lenny runs on with a folded metal chair and begins to beat Simon on the back as Simon howls.)

LENNY- Always thought that looked like fun on wrestling.
SIMON- Stop hurting me!!
LENNY- What?
SIMON- Stop hurting me!!
LENNY- Why should I?
SIMON- Because it’s wrong, you moron!
LENNY- Are you judging me? Are you persecuting me for my values?
SIMON- No, I… I just don’t want you to hurt me any more.
LENNY- But it (kick) feels (kick) so (kick) good!

(Chuck enters.)

CHUCK- Hey, hey, hey. What’s going on here?
SIMON- Oh… thank goodness you’re here. This guy’s beating me up for no reason.
CHUCK- Is that a fact?
LENNY- No, sir, officer. I’m simply acting on my moral convictions. I believe if it feels
good, you should do it.
CHUCK- And beating this guy up feels good?
LENNY- Oh yes, sir.
CHUCK- Who taught you that stupid philosophy?

(Lenny points at Simon.)

CHUCK- I see.
SIMON- What are you waiting for? Arrest him!
CHUCK- I can’t do that, sir. He’s got a constitutional right to freedom of religion.
SIMON- What? You must be mad.
CHUCK- Hey, don’t take that attitude. Look at the bright side. (pulls out his billy club) You made two converts tonight.
SIMON- Oh no, not you!

(Chuck beats Simon with the club. Lenny kicks Simon. Simon howls in pain.)

CHUCK- Hey, you were right, man. This does feel good.
LENNY- You know what would feel really good? Tossing him off a bridge.

(They look at Simon with evil grins.)

SIMON- Oh no.
CHUCK- Let’s do it!

(They pick up Simon and carry him off.)

SIMON- Wait!!! I changed my mind!! Let me go! I can’t swim!