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The Scotty Love Show: Wife-Speak

Scotty Love and his lovely wife return this week with a lesson on how (not) to love your wife.

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LESSON FOUR
Loving Your Wife
Key Scripture: Ephesians 5:25-33

ICE BREAKERS

1. What’s the dumbest thing you’ve ever said to your wife?

2. What words or topics or triggers do you avoid with your wife because you know it’s not a place you want to go?

3. When you’re in the dog house, what’s your go-to move to get out of it?

INTRODUCTION

Have you ever thought that women should come with an instruction manual? How nice would it be to have a booklet or even a cheat sheet to help you interpret every word and action? Never again would you be caught off guard when she’s suddenly mad at you. Never again would you make things worse by asking, “Are you mad at me?” Never again would you get caught in that downward spiral where every thing you say just makes things worse.

Women are not cars, or stereos, or computers, or anything else that comes with a manual. They don’t have warning lights or secret code words. They are different than us in how they think and communicate, and they don’t especially like being analyzed like a piece of electronics. They want to be respected, understood, and loved just as we do.

READ AND DISCUSS

Read Ephesians 6:25-33

How does God want us to love our wives?

Read Romans 5:8

How much did God do for the people he made his church?

Do you think God gave us this parallel to show us how he loves us or to teach us how we should love our wives? Why?

How many of you sacrificed some of your time – guy time – in the last week?

If Ephesians 6 is the standard job description for being a good husband, how do you think your wife would rate your job performance on a scale of 1 to 10?

CHALLENGE

What was it about your wife that first attracted you to her?

When was it that you knew that you wanted to marry your wife? How did you know?

Are you ever reminded of the woman you first fell in love with these days? What triggers you to see her as that same girl you wanted to propose to all those years ago?

What are some things you can do to become better helpers to your wife?

How can you become a better friend and partner to your wife?

Are there things in your relationship that are more likely to trigger fights? Can you think of any strategies to help you avoid negative conflicts (or help others in this group to do so)?

What little sacrifice could you make this week to give her a romantic surprise and (maybe) reminder of the guy she wanted to marry?

Will you do it?

WRAP UP

It doesn’t take much some days to show your wife you love her, but it does require an effort on our parts. Don’t take her for granted. And don’t try to work her like a machine. Remember the wife of your youth (Proverbs 5:18). Remember the vow you made to be her partner. And never be shy about sacrificing for her, just as Jesus did for us.

PRAYER

Dear God,

Forgive us for the times we take our wives for granted. Forgive us for phoning in our marital duties and not paying enough attention to our wives’ needs. Help us to love and cherish them as you loved us, and give us strong marriages so we can withstand the hard times in life.

In Jesus’s name,
Amen

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The Scotty Love Show: Parenting

Ladies and gents, it’s time for your weekly dose of wisdom from the lips of Scotty Love. This week, Scotty and his daughter shed some light on parenting – the wrong way.

The Scotty Love Show is a 12 part video Bible study designed for men’s groups, using humor and Bible study to help men become better leaders, servants, and followers of Christ.

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LESSON THREE
Loving Your Kids
Key Scripture: Proverbs 1:8-9, Ephesians 6:4, Proverbs 22:6.

ICE BREAKERS

What’s one of your favorite memories with your Mom or Dad?

Do you remember a time when your parents got really angry with you? What did you do, and how did they handle it?

Did you ever bust your parents doing something they should not have done – or that they would not have let you do? What was it? How did they respond?

INTRODUCTION

Of all the titles you will hold in your life, “father” is far and away the most challenging. It’s also one of the most important. In addition to caring, nurturing, and providing for the physical needs of their children, God gave parents the awesome responsibility of teaching those children to walk in the steps of Jesus.

Teaching kids to follow Jesus isn’t as simple as telling them what to do. You have to model it. Kids are always watching, and when they see a parent who doesn’t practice what they preach, it can kill their faith. Our children need us to teach them God’s Word. They need us to be active in their lives, not lecturing from a distance. And they need us to live the life we want them to emulate – which means we need to live the way Christ taught us to live!

READ AND DISCUSS

Read Proverbs 1:8-9

What does Solomon’s instruction for his son tell us about the job of being a parent?

What instructions does God expect parents to give to their children?

Why did God give this job to parents, and not to teachers or pastors or someone outside the home?

Read Ephesians 6:4

What does it mean to exasperate our children?

What are some of the ways we frustrate our kids with our instructions, rules, and teaching?

Why is it critical for parents to make time for their kids?

Why is living what we preach more important than the preaching part? Do kids learn more from words or actions?

CHALLENGE

Do you remember any instances of your parents telling you, “Do as I say, not as I do?”

Dads: Can you think of any examples of a time when you exasperated your kids, either through your own impatience, anger, or bad example?

How can we address our mistakes with our kids to show them we know we did wrong and want to do better?

Dads: How hard is it to make time to play with your kids?

What are some things you have in common with your children, activities you can do together? If you’re not a parent yet, what are some hobbies you hope to share with your kids?

How can you use that hobby to teach spiritual lessons? Brainstorm together to find ways that fun time can also be a time to build faith.

Are there some areas in your life you need to straighten out so you can be a better example to your kids?

Dads: What steps are you going to make this week to become a better Dad?

Non-Dads: What can you do now to prepare yourself to be the best Dad you can be?

WRAP UP

Your kids are your most important investment – more than any savings or retirement fund or even your old comic book collection. They are the future of the church and the future of this world. As someone once handed their faith down to you, it’s up to you to pass that faith on to your children.

Make time for your kids. Teach them what the Word of God says. Then live it every day. When you mess up, don’t sweep it under the rug. Confess your sin, tell your kids you know you messed up, and let them see a real effort from you to set things right.

Read Proverbs 22:6.

Train your kids by setting the example for them with your life. You may not see it, but they really are paying attention!

PRAYER

Dear God,

Thank you for the gift of children. Forgive us for the times we fail you and our kids. Teach us how to set the example in our homes by living like Christ. Let our kids see a life in us that they will copy as they grow older.

In Jesus’s name,
Amen

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Scotty Love: The Good Listener

Get to know Scotty Love’s darling wife this week, and get a crash course in how NOT to communicate with your own bride!

Part two of the Scotty Love Videvo Bible Study for Guys.

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LESSON TWO
Listen Up!
Key Scripture: Proverbs 18:13, James 1:19, Prov 10:19.

ICE BREAKERS

How many of you can recite your favorite (clean) line from your favorite movie?

How many of you can remember what the pastor preached on last Sunday?

What’s the last thing your wife, boss, roommate or someone said to you before you came here?

INTRODUCTION

There’s a big difference between hearing and listening. Hearing is the physical act of hearing, while listening is the act of giving attention to what we hear. We hear things all the time that we never will remember – dogs, car engines, rain, wind, music, Muzak, and yes, the voices of other people. We have the ability to give these sounds our attention or to tune them out. When we tune out voices that want to be heard, we can get ourselves into big trouble.

Friends, wives, girlfriends, children, doctors and bosses are just some of the people who want us to listen. Failing to listen can cause fractures in a relationship. It can get you in trouble. It can get you fired. It can lead to a night spent on the couch, or, as Scotty Love found out, a very, very expensive credit card bill.

Listening is critical to doing business. It’s also key to good marriages, good friendships, and yes, good small groups. If we want to be the men God wants us to be, we have to pay attention and listen!

READ AND DISCUSS

Can anyone share a recent story of a time you didn’t listen and got yourself in hot water?

Mark Twain once said, “It is better to remain silent and thought a fool than to open one’s mouth and remove all doubt.” How does speaking without listening make us look like a fool?

Why is it important we hear the whole story before we speak?

Why do we tend to start speaking and offer answers before we know the whole story?

Read James 1:19 and Proverbs 10:19

Is there a correlation between speaking too soon and becoming angry?

Have you ever made someone angry because you spoke too soon? Or has someone angered you by failing to hear you out?

What other problems do we create when we fail to listen?

CHALLENGE

Where do you struggle to listen the most: with your family, at work, or at church?

How do you think social media has changed the way we listen? Do we “listen” better or worse online?

Sometimes we don’t hear people who want us to listen because we are distracted. They hit us up when we are busy doing something else, or when we don’t have time to chat. How often does this cause listeng problems for you?

Do you think you can be a good listener while you are doing other things?

What other factors/situations can you think of that lead to people not hearing one another?

How can you eliminate distractions or otherwise improve your ability to listen to others when they want to talk?

What other habits do you need to change in order to become a better listener?

When is it okay to speak up and give answers or advice to someone who needs it?

How can we respond when we don’t have the answers?

WRAP UP

If we want to become better listeners, we need to plan ahead. We need to discover the things that keep us from listening, and we need strategies to help us eliminate those distractions. When someone needs to talk, we need to give them our attention – not just our ears, but eye contact. We need to stop work if we can, or ask if it can wait a minute. If it can wait, we need to get to a stopping point and give the attention that’s needed.

Failure to communicate rarely happens because people aren’t speaking. It happens because someone isn’t listening. Don’t miss an opportunity to love someone because you’re too distracted to hear them out. Stop and listen. Let them finish. Then speak only when necessary. Sometimes just listening is enough.

PRAYER

Dear God,

Forgive us for the way we run our mouths. Forgive us for being bad listeners. Teach us to stop and listen when someone needs our ear, and give us the wisdom to know when to answer, and when to stay silent.

In Jesus’s name,
Amen

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Scotty Love: Small Groups

The Scotty Love Show was conceived as a video Bible study for guys, especially guys who might not be used to the small group or Bible study atmosphere. The idea was to present a skit or video in which the host of the Scotty Love show discusses a topic relevant to Christian men – poorly. Afterwards, the guys in the group dig into the Bible and some discussion time to seek some real answers. It’s an ideal program for young adult men, or a mixed age group, as Scotty’s guests include older and younger male friends, not to mention his sassy wife and unflappable daughter.

Week one of the series is, appropriately enough: Small Groups.

Here’s episode one. Bible study is below the video.

Share and enjoy!

Iron Sharpens Iron
Key Scripture: Proverbs 27:7, Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

ICE BREAKERS

What is your favorite sports team?

What is the greatest action movie of all time?

What is the funniest movie of all time?

INTRODUCTION

Guys are not naturals when it comes to opening up. We don’t go to the bathroom in groups to talk about our dates. Guys don’t call guys just to say, “Whatcha doin’?” Guys don’t meet over coffee, and they never, ever talk about “feelings.”

God doesn’t want us to keep it all to ourselves. If he did, he wouldn’t have gifted women with the ability to make us open up when we don’t feel like talking. But God doesn’t want us to stop there. He wants us to band together as men to encourage, support, and strengthen one another.

Being part of a small group is a serious commitment, but a small group demands all of its members to make that commitment in order to succeed. We need to commit ourselves to listen, to share, and maybe most important – to keep it in the group.

READ AND DISCUSS

Read Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

What benefits does Solomon give for working together instead of going it alone?

How often do you undertake a task that would be better done with two people?

Why do you think we choose to do those jobs on our own?

Have you ever had any disasters – small or large – because you didn’t ask for help? What happened?

Read Prov 27:17

How have you been “sharpened” by mentors – teachers, coaches, pastors, bosses – in your life?

How have you been sharpened by peers in your life?

What other benefits have you experienced working with or playing on a team vs. going alone?

CHALLENGE

Why did you decide to join a small group?

How do you expect to be “sharpened” by being in this group?

What fears do you have about being in a small group?

What expectations do you have for this group, and for your fellow group members?

How nervous are you about sharing things that are going on in your life?

The first rule of Fight Club is you don’t talk about Fight Club. The same rule has to apply to a small group. How can we create a safe environment where guys can be heard without worrying that what is said here will leave this room?

What other questions or concerns do you have that you’d like to address as we begin our small group studies together?

WRAP UP

Whatever your expectations are coming into this group, one thing is certain: we will get out of it what we put in. If we put on fronts and refuse to be honest with each other, we will never become sharper. If we betray the trust required to make this group a success, we will fall apart. But if we are genuinely open and honest with one another, there’s no limit to what God can do with our group.

Let’s ask God to bless the time we spend together. Let’s pray for the courage to open up and be real. And let’s ask God to use each of us to sharpen one another.

PRAYER

Dear God,

Thank you for bringing each one of us to this group. I pray that you will use this group to encourage and inspire every member. Help us to build the trust we need to hold each other accountable and build each other up.

In Jesus’s name,
Amen