I’m a day late, as I try to get these up on Sunday nights, but here is this week’s free skit. This one’s brand new. It’s the one for all of you who have said to yourself, “You know the one thing I can never find is a good skit about the story of Hosea.”
Share and enjoy.
By John Cosper
Not My Kid
Jezreel walks on stage.
JEZREEL: Growing up in Israel, I had friends with normal names and normal meanings. My friend John’s name means God is gracious. My buddy Matthew’s name means Gift of God. My name is Jezreel. Jezreel doesn’t mean anything special like John or Matthew. Jezreel was a battlefield where the wicked King Ahab and his wife Jezebel slaughtered a bunch of God’s prophets. My father was a prophet too, and he gave me that name to tell the people of Israel that they would soon suffer just as the prophets did under Ahab. Dad made his point, but he also made life miserable for me. Elementary school is bad enough without being named for an unfortunate chapter in your country’s history. I thought I had it bad. Then my sister came along.
Not Loved enters.
NOT LOVED: Hi. My name is Not Loved.
JEZREEL: Hey sis.
NOT LOVED: Hey, Jezreel. My name is actually pronounced Lo-Ruhamah, but the kids in school had trouble pronouncing all that. So they called me Not Loved. “Wow, your parents must really hate you!” They told me. “Not Loved! She’s not loved! Hey, who has two thumbs and isn’t loved? That girl! Ha ha ha!” Jezreel had it easy compared to me. But even I had it easy compared to our baby brother.
Not My Kid enters.
NOT MY KID: Hi, my name is… Not My Kid.
JEZREEL/NOT LOVED: Hey, bro.
NOT MY KID: ‘Sup, guys? My full name is Lo-Ammi, but like my sister, the kids preferred to call me by what my name means. Dad was sending a message to Israel. He wanted them to know that he did not love the things they had done. He wanted them to know he had rejected them as his people. I’m sure he and God had good intentions, but it’s pretty rough having a name like Not My Kid! Every day, it was the same thing at after school pick up. “I’m here to get my son. He’s Not My Kid.” Mrs. McKimson was terribly confused.
JEZREEL: Don’t get us wrong. Dad was a really good father. He played with us. He read to us. He took us on hikes. He taught us about God. But we all had a chip on our shoulder because of the names he gave us.
NOT LOVED: Dad told me every night that he loved me. But he named me Not Loved. How am I supposed to deal with that?
NOT MY KID: We all had trouble dealing with our names. It wasn’t easy being living prophecies of doom. We were meant to remind everyone that God’s judgment was coming. Doesn’t make you the most popular kid at the party.
JEZREEL: Then God gave our Dad another message. It was about Mom.
NOT LOVED: Mom wasn’t the good parent Dad was. She definitely wasn’t a good wife. She was unfaithful to Dad almost from the beginning.
NOT MY KID: He knew what kind of person she was before he married her. God told him to marry her, and he listened. He always listened when God spoke.
JEZREEL: It wasn’t a surprise to anyone when Mom left him for other men. But what was a surprise was what Dad did about it.
NOT LOVED: She was put up for sale. Like a slave. Nothing but a piece of property. He bought her, and he brought her home.
NOT MY KID: God had given Dad another message. Yes, Israel had been unfaithful. Yes, he had rejected Israel. But he would not reject Israel forever. God still loved her, and he always would.
JEZREEL: My name is Jezreel. My name reminds people of a terrible thing they did. I have a sister named Not Loved and a brother named Not My Kid. But we have a father who loves us as much as any father ever loved his kids.
NOT LOVED: He loves our Mom, too, and he always will.
NOT MY KID: And as much as he loves us, God loves us more.
JEZREEL: It isn’t easy being the child of a prophet. And it isn’t easy having a rotten name like Jezreel.
NOT LOVED: Or Not Loved.
NOT MY KID: Or Not My Kid.
JEZREEL: But we are forever thankful to be children of God. No matter what happens, we know he will always love us. Just like our dad.