Because we’ve all had one. Share and enjoy.
David Had a Bad Boss
By John Cosper
David – After he killed the giant, but before he was king
David walks on stage and speaks to the audience. He should be close enough to the side of the stage that objects can be thrown at him. Objects can include weapons, tools, office equipment, food, whatever you find convenient and easy to toss.
DAVID: Some times it’s hard to believe that God is in control. Especially at work, right? I was talking to my brother Jimmy the other day. He’s an accountant, and his boss is the meanest guy. Complete and total jerk. Makes Jimmy work Saturdays. Makes Jimmy do a ton of reports that have nothing to do with his job. He even makes Jimmy run out and get his coffee every day. But what can Jimmy do? He’s got a family to support, and he doesn’t want to go back to the family business.
David looks off stage. He sees an object of some kind flying at him. He ducks. Then he casually goes on with his talk.
DAVID: Jimmy chose accounting because he got tired of that life. You see, my Dad’s a shepherd, and all of us were taught to be shepherds. From an early age, we had to learn how to lead sheep, how to feed them, care for them. Even how to fend off wolves. It’s not easy to peg a wolf right between the eyes with a stone at the tender age of five, but guess what?
David looks off. He ducks another flying object.
DAVID: It’s part of the job. But that’s any job, right? There are things you like, and there are things you don’t like. But whatever the job, you’re there for a reason. Doesn’t matter if it’s your first, second, third, or even tenth choice for a career. God has a plan, and that plan has led you…
David ducks another flying object.
DAVID: It’s led you to your own place of employment. Believe me, I never expected I would be where I am. I was happy being a shepherd. It’s hard work, but I had a lot of time to do what I loved – song writing. Then one day, me and my mad sling skills take down a giant, and my whole world gets turned upside down. It’s not like it was a big deal. Like I said, I had to take a wolf down at age five. A giant is a much bigger, much easier target. But all of a sudden, I’m a hero. Now I’m living in the palace, working in the army, and serving the king – which is no walk in the park. Don’t get me wrong, I love the king. He even lets me play the harp for him. But he has this annoying habit–
David ducks another object, then another one.
DAVID: He likes to throw things at me. For no reason whatsoever. I’ll be in the middle of a song and all of a sudden, there’s a spear or a rock or an… an avocado flying at my head. And of course I can’t throw things back. Not only is he my boss, he’s the king. I throw back, I’m not just fired. I’m a dead man!
A servant walks on, walking toward David.
DAVID: No, this is not where I saw my life going. Never in my wildest dreams. But as much as I know I’d be happy, sitting on a hill side, watching sheep, and strumming my harp, I know this is the plan God has for me. God put me here with these people, with that boss for a reason.
David ducks another object. As he ducks, the servant gets nailed and drops straight to the ground. David helps him up.
DAVID: You okay?
SERVANT: Yeah. Thanks, man.
The Servant gets up and walks off.
DAVID: It’s not my plan. It’s God’s plan. And while it’s not what I would have wanted… (thinks, pausing for a moment) I don’t smell like sheep poop any more.