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Free Skit: R-Rated Movies

Rated R Movies
By John Cosper

THEME: Serving God

A Bus Driver (Unseen)
Heather- A Christian woman
Beth and Laura- Christian friends with an axe to grind

The setting is a public bus/train/subway. Heather sits in the middle of a 3-seat bench. A driver’s voice is heard over the speaker as Beth and Laura enter, carrying picked signs. The Driver’s voice is heard on a speaker.
DRIVER: Now stopping on Spring Street. Next stop, Elm Street.
Beth and Laura sit.
BETH: I can’t believe we’re doing this.
LAURA: I can’t believe we have to do this.
BETH: You’re right. We shouldn’t be here.
LAURA: They caused this. It wasn’t us.
BETH: And we have to respond.
LAURA: Yes, we have to respond.
BETH: To think that a studio that brought us quality, family films like Doggy Hero and Kittens on Parade would produce a rated R movie?
LAURA: It makes you sick!
BETH: What were they thinking? People like us count on them to provide quality family films!
LAURA: We see all their movies!
BETH: We see them two or three times, and then we buy the Blu-Ray!
LAURA: George and I have started getting the digital copies.
BETH: See, I don’t like that. I want to have the disc in hand. I mean what if the Internet dies out?
LAURA: Oh, but it’s so nice. You don’t have all those movies stacked up on the tables and the shelves.
BETH: I don’t like the clutter either. But since the studio’s decided to produce smut, I guess there won’t be as much going forward!
LAURA: They can’t do this to us! We are not going to accept this!
BETH: Our kids are not seeing this movie!
LAURA: And neither are we!
BETH: Actually I did.
Laura gasps.
BETH: I had to screen it for the website to let everyone know how smutty it is.
LAURA: You are a true saint.
BETH: And now it’s time to be a crusader.
LAURA: Down with smut!
BETH: Down with rated R movies!
LAURA: The church is taking a stand, and the whole world’s going to know!
Pause. Heather looks at Laura and Beth.
HEATHER: Y’all are Christians?
LAURA: Yes we are.
HEATHER: Me too.
LAURA: You must be headed to the theater, huh?
HEATHER: No, no. This is my stop coming up. I’m helping some folks hand out soup and coats to the homeless.
Long pause. The bus comes to a halt. Heather gets up and exits.
DRIVER: Now stopping on Elm. Next stop, Culbertson.
BETH: Well, not everyone has the courage to stand for Jesus.