Get to know Scotty Love’s darling wife this week, and get a crash course in how NOT to communicate with your own bride!
Part two of the Scotty Love Videvo Bible Study for Guys.
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Key Scripture: Proverbs 18:13, James 1:19, Prov 10:19.
How many of you can recite your favorite (clean) line from your favorite movie?
How many of you can remember what the pastor preached on last Sunday?
What’s the last thing your wife, boss, roommate or someone said to you before you came here?
There’s a big difference between hearing and listening. Hearing is the physical act of hearing, while listening is the act of giving attention to what we hear. We hear things all the time that we never will remember – dogs, car engines, rain, wind, music, Muzak, and yes, the voices of other people. We have the ability to give these sounds our attention or to tune them out. When we tune out voices that want to be heard, we can get ourselves into big trouble.
Friends, wives, girlfriends, children, doctors and bosses are just some of the people who want us to listen. Failing to listen can cause fractures in a relationship. It can get you in trouble. It can get you fired. It can lead to a night spent on the couch, or, as Scotty Love found out, a very, very expensive credit card bill.
Listening is critical to doing business. It’s also key to good marriages, good friendships, and yes, good small groups. If we want to be the men God wants us to be, we have to pay attention and listen!
READ AND DISCUSS
Can anyone share a recent story of a time you didn’t listen and got yourself in hot water?
Mark Twain once said, “It is better to remain silent and thought a fool than to open one’s mouth and remove all doubt.” How does speaking without listening make us look like a fool?
Why is it important we hear the whole story before we speak?
Why do we tend to start speaking and offer answers before we know the whole story?
Read James 1:19 and Proverbs 10:19
Is there a correlation between speaking too soon and becoming angry?
Have you ever made someone angry because you spoke too soon? Or has someone angered you by failing to hear you out?
What other problems do we create when we fail to listen?
Where do you struggle to listen the most: with your family, at work, or at church?
How do you think social media has changed the way we listen? Do we “listen” better or worse online?
Sometimes we don’t hear people who want us to listen because we are distracted. They hit us up when we are busy doing something else, or when we don’t have time to chat. How often does this cause listeng problems for you?
Do you think you can be a good listener while you are doing other things?
What other factors/situations can you think of that lead to people not hearing one another?
How can you eliminate distractions or otherwise improve your ability to listen to others when they want to talk?
What other habits do you need to change in order to become a better listener?
When is it okay to speak up and give answers or advice to someone who needs it?
How can we respond when we don’t have the answers?
If we want to become better listeners, we need to plan ahead. We need to discover the things that keep us from listening, and we need strategies to help us eliminate those distractions. When someone needs to talk, we need to give them our attention – not just our ears, but eye contact. We need to stop work if we can, or ask if it can wait a minute. If it can wait, we need to get to a stopping point and give the attention that’s needed.
Failure to communicate rarely happens because people aren’t speaking. It happens because someone isn’t listening. Don’t miss an opportunity to love someone because you’re too distracted to hear them out. Stop and listen. Let them finish. Then speak only when necessary. Sometimes just listening is enough.
Forgive us for the way we run our mouths. Forgive us for being bad listeners. Teach us to stop and listen when someone needs our ear, and give us the wisdom to know when to answer, and when to stay silent.
In Jesus’s name,