Free Skit for Father’s Day

A little something I was inspired to write after going to church with my son this morning. Father’s Day has always seemed like more of a skit day than Mother’s Day, so here you go!

Just Like Dad
By John Cosper
www.righteousinsanity.com

THEME: Fathers and Sons

CHARACTERS
Dad
Sam
A stage hand

Dad and Sam enter.
DAD: I love Star Wars!
SAM: I love Star Wars!
DAD: Star Wars is awesome!
SAM: Star Wars is awesome!
DAD: Do you know which move I love best?
SAM: All of them!
DAD: You’re darn right all of them!
SAM: Star Wars is the best!
DAD: Star Wars is the best!
A stage hand walks on and hands Dad a bag with two cheeseburgers inside.
DAD: I love burgers!
SAM: I love burgers!
DAD: I love cheeseburgers.
SAM: Cheeeeeeeseburgers!
Dad hands Sam a cheeseburger.
DAD: Cheeseburgers are the best!
SAM: The best!
They both take a bite.
DAD: Pickles? I hate pickles!
SAM: Pickles, yuck!
They pull the pickles out of their sandwiches and throw them on the stage. They look at each other.
DAD/SAM: Don’t tell Mom!
The stage hand brings out two chairs, setting them one in front of the other but offset. The stage hand takes the burgers away. Dad and Sam mime getting into a car. Dad starts the car.
DAD: I love the radio.
SAM: I love to rock!
DAD: I love Guns N Roses.
SAM: I love this song!
DAD: (sings) Take me down to the Paradise City, where the grass is green and the girls are pretty.
SAM: (sings) Oh won’t you please take me home!
Dad pretends to honk the horn.
DAD: (angry) Hey, watch where you’re going, jerk! You wanna get is all killed? Where did you learn to drive? What is wrong with you people? Can’t you read a stop sign? I hate people like you! I hate you all!
SAM: I hate you all! I hate you all!
Dad’s eyes widen. He realizes what he’s said.
SAM: You’re nothing but a bunch of jerks! And, and, and… booger heads!
DAD: No, they’re not.
SAM: They’re not booger heads?
DAD: I’m the booger head.
SAM: No you’re not. They’re the—
DAD: Sam, I’m sorry. That’s not how we should talk to others.
SAM: It’s not?
DAD: Jesus loves them.
SAM: Jesus loves them.
DAD: He loves everyone, even when they mess up.
SAM: He loves everyone. Even you, Dad.
DAD: Jesus loves you.
SAM: Jesus loves you.
DAD: Jesus loves everybody.
SAM: Jesus loves everybody.
DAD: We need to love them like Jesus.
SAM: Love them like Jesus!
Dad starts driving again.
SAM: Dad, Jesus loves Guns N Roses, right?
DAD: Yes, I’m sure he does.
SAM: Jesus loves everybody!
DAD: I love you, buddy.
SAM: I love you too!

Free Skit – The Orthodontists

Back when I sold individual skits, this was easily one of the most popular and most requested skits in the catalog. Now its free. Enjoy!

The Orthodontists
By John Cosper

www.righteousinsanity.com

THEME: Church Leadership

CHARACTERS
Mandy, Candy, Sandy, and Randy- Followers of Jesus
Darla- An unbeliever

INTRO- Can you imagine what church would be like without any leadership?

(Mandy, Candy, Sandy, and Randy run on stage cheering.}

MANDY- All right, everybody, time to set the whole world on fire!

CANDY- Jesus is alive and the way to Heaven has been opened!

SANDY- Right now, he’s on his way to Heaven to prepare a new home for all who will believe in him!
RANDY- And it’s up to his followers to spread the good news so that everyone can come to know Jesus!

MANDY- And we’re just the people to do it, ‘cause we are… we are… Uh oh!

RANDY- Oh my gosh! We don’t have a name! What are we gonna do?

CANDY- Secret ballots!

(They pull out cards and pencils, write on the cards, and pass the cards to Mandy.}

MANDY- One vote for Jesus people, one vote for Christ-ee-anns…

SANDY- Christians!

MANDY- Sorry. One vote for orthodontists, and one vote for David Duchovny.

SANDY- Wait! I want to change my vote from Christians to orthodontists!

RANDY- Then that settles it! We’re orthodontists!

ALL- Yay!!!

CANDY- All right. Where are we gonna go first?
MANDY- Let’s go to the Coliseum!

SANDY- The Coliseum? No way. Let’s go to the Temple.

MANDY- Are you crazy? We’ll get lynched if we go to the Temple!

RANDY- I’ve got it. (pulls out a quarter} We’ll flip a coin.

CANDY- How come you’re flipping the coin?

RANDY- Because I’ve got one!

CANDY- You flipped it the last time!

RANDY- So?

CANDY- You can’t flip it every time!

SANDY- It’s not your turn either! It’s mine!

CANDY- Is not!

RANDY- All right! Secret ballots!

(They pull out cards and pencils, write on the cards, and pass the cards to Mandy.}

MANDY- One vote for Sandy, one vote for Randy, one vote for Candy, and one vote for Mandy.

SANDY- Mandy?

MANDY- Hey, maybe I wanna flip a coin, too!

(Darla enters from stage right and stands, looking off. The rest look at her.}

RANDY- Whoa! Check it out! It’s an unbelieving heathen!

CANDY- Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh! What’ll we do?

(Sandy shoves Candy towards Candy.}

SANDY- You go talk to her!

CANDY- Me?

SANDY- Come on, get over there!

CANDY- I’m not going! I’m…I’m not prepared for this! Let Mandy do it!
MANDY- Me?

CANDY- You’re the one who counts all the votes!

MANDY- So? Randy met Jesus first! Let him do it!

RANDY- No I didn’t! Sandy knew him the longest!

SANDY- Yes, but you knew him best! You followed him everywhere! You heard all the speeches, not me!

RANDY- Yeah, well…well… “C” comes before “R” alphabetically, so Candy goes first!

CANDY- I am not!

MANDY- Come on! Just go!

(Mandy shoves Candy into Darla.}

CANDY- Excuse me, ma’am.

DARLA- That’s quite all right.

RANDY- Say something to her!

SANDY- Come on, Candy, tell her!

CANDY- What do I say?

MANDY- Oooh, you’re so incompetent!

CANDY- Then you do it!

(Candy grabs Mandy by the arm and swings her into Darla.}

MANDY- Sorry!

DARLA- It’s okay.

SANDY- Go on, Mandy!

DARLA- Is something the matter?

MANDY- Have you been washed in the blood of the lamb?

DARLA- I beg your pardon?

MANDY- I’m sorry. That’s not what I meant.

DARLA- Are you trying to tell me something?

MANDY- Uhhh, yeah. Uhhh…my friends and I wanted to tell you about…the Messiah!

DARLA- What’s a Messiah?

(Mandy runs back to the group.}

SANDY- What is your problem?

MANDY- She’s asking some really hard questions!

RANDY- Maybe you better talk to her.

SANDY- Why not you?

RANDY- Okay, we’ll both do it.

SANDY- Go ahead.

RANDY- After you.

SANDY- All right. We’ll go together. On the count of three. One…two…

(Darla walks away.}

CANDY- Late! There she goes!

RANDY- You let her get away!

SANDY- Well if you weren’t so ashamed of your faith!

RANDY- Me? What about you? If you’re so holy and knowledgeable, why didn’t you take charge and talk to her yourself?

SANDY- Duh, Randy, if Jesus had intended for some one to be “in charge”, he would have appointed some one.

RANDY- Yeah, you’re probably right.

CANDY- So, where to, guys?

MANDY- Let’s just pick a direction and go.

SANDY- Cool. Which one?

(They all look at each other. Randy pulls out a spinner from a board game and spins it. They all point in the direction the arrow points.}

ALL- That way!!!

(They exit in the direction of the arrow.}