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Free Skit – The Orthodontists

Back when I sold individual skits, this was easily one of the most popular and most requested skits in the catalog. Now its free. Enjoy!

The Orthodontists
By John Cosper

www.righteousinsanity.com

THEME: Church Leadership

CHARACTERS
Mandy, Candy, Sandy, and Randy- Followers of Jesus
Darla- An unbeliever

INTRO- Can you imagine what church would be like without any leadership?

(Mandy, Candy, Sandy, and Randy run on stage cheering.}

MANDY- All right, everybody, time to set the whole world on fire!

CANDY- Jesus is alive and the way to Heaven has been opened!

SANDY- Right now, he’s on his way to Heaven to prepare a new home for all who will believe in him!
RANDY- And it’s up to his followers to spread the good news so that everyone can come to know Jesus!

MANDY- And we’re just the people to do it, ‘cause we are… we are… Uh oh!

RANDY- Oh my gosh! We don’t have a name! What are we gonna do?

CANDY- Secret ballots!

(They pull out cards and pencils, write on the cards, and pass the cards to Mandy.}

MANDY- One vote for Jesus people, one vote for Christ-ee-anns…

SANDY- Christians!

MANDY- Sorry. One vote for orthodontists, and one vote for David Duchovny.

SANDY- Wait! I want to change my vote from Christians to orthodontists!

RANDY- Then that settles it! We’re orthodontists!

ALL- Yay!!!

CANDY- All right. Where are we gonna go first?
MANDY- Let’s go to the Coliseum!

SANDY- The Coliseum? No way. Let’s go to the Temple.

MANDY- Are you crazy? We’ll get lynched if we go to the Temple!

RANDY- I’ve got it. (pulls out a quarter} We’ll flip a coin.

CANDY- How come you’re flipping the coin?

RANDY- Because I’ve got one!

CANDY- You flipped it the last time!

RANDY- So?

CANDY- You can’t flip it every time!

SANDY- It’s not your turn either! It’s mine!

CANDY- Is not!

RANDY- All right! Secret ballots!

(They pull out cards and pencils, write on the cards, and pass the cards to Mandy.}

MANDY- One vote for Sandy, one vote for Randy, one vote for Candy, and one vote for Mandy.

SANDY- Mandy?

MANDY- Hey, maybe I wanna flip a coin, too!

(Darla enters from stage right and stands, looking off. The rest look at her.}

RANDY- Whoa! Check it out! It’s an unbelieving heathen!

CANDY- Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh! What’ll we do?

(Sandy shoves Candy towards Candy.}

SANDY- You go talk to her!

CANDY- Me?

SANDY- Come on, get over there!

CANDY- I’m not going! I’m…I’m not prepared for this! Let Mandy do it!
MANDY- Me?

CANDY- You’re the one who counts all the votes!

MANDY- So? Randy met Jesus first! Let him do it!

RANDY- No I didn’t! Sandy knew him the longest!

SANDY- Yes, but you knew him best! You followed him everywhere! You heard all the speeches, not me!

RANDY- Yeah, well…well… “C” comes before “R” alphabetically, so Candy goes first!

CANDY- I am not!

MANDY- Come on! Just go!

(Mandy shoves Candy into Darla.}

CANDY- Excuse me, ma’am.

DARLA- That’s quite all right.

RANDY- Say something to her!

SANDY- Come on, Candy, tell her!

CANDY- What do I say?

MANDY- Oooh, you’re so incompetent!

CANDY- Then you do it!

(Candy grabs Mandy by the arm and swings her into Darla.}

MANDY- Sorry!

DARLA- It’s okay.

SANDY- Go on, Mandy!

DARLA- Is something the matter?

MANDY- Have you been washed in the blood of the lamb?

DARLA- I beg your pardon?

MANDY- I’m sorry. That’s not what I meant.

DARLA- Are you trying to tell me something?

MANDY- Uhhh, yeah. Uhhh…my friends and I wanted to tell you about…the Messiah!

DARLA- What’s a Messiah?

(Mandy runs back to the group.}

SANDY- What is your problem?

MANDY- She’s asking some really hard questions!

RANDY- Maybe you better talk to her.

SANDY- Why not you?

RANDY- Okay, we’ll both do it.

SANDY- Go ahead.

RANDY- After you.

SANDY- All right. We’ll go together. On the count of three. One…two…

(Darla walks away.}

CANDY- Late! There she goes!

RANDY- You let her get away!

SANDY- Well if you weren’t so ashamed of your faith!

RANDY- Me? What about you? If you’re so holy and knowledgeable, why didn’t you take charge and talk to her yourself?

SANDY- Duh, Randy, if Jesus had intended for some one to be “in charge”, he would have appointed some one.

RANDY- Yeah, you’re probably right.

CANDY- So, where to, guys?

MANDY- Let’s just pick a direction and go.

SANDY- Cool. Which one?

(They all look at each other. Randy pulls out a spinner from a board game and spins it. They all point in the direction the arrow points.}

ALL- That way!!!

(They exit in the direction of the arrow.}