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The Scotty Love Show: Wife-Speak

Scotty Love and his lovely wife return this week with a lesson on how (not) to love your wife.

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Loving Your Wife
Key Scripture: Ephesians 5:25-33


1. What’s the dumbest thing you’ve ever said to your wife?

2. What words or topics or triggers do you avoid with your wife because you know it’s not a place you want to go?

3. When you’re in the dog house, what’s your go-to move to get out of it?


Have you ever thought that women should come with an instruction manual? How nice would it be to have a booklet or even a cheat sheet to help you interpret every word and action? Never again would you be caught off guard when she’s suddenly mad at you. Never again would you make things worse by asking, “Are you mad at me?” Never again would you get caught in that downward spiral where every thing you say just makes things worse.

Women are not cars, or stereos, or computers, or anything else that comes with a manual. They don’t have warning lights or secret code words. They are different than us in how they think and communicate, and they don’t especially like being analyzed like a piece of electronics. They want to be respected, understood, and loved just as we do.


Read Ephesians 6:25-33

How does God want us to love our wives?

Read Romans 5:8

How much did God do for the people he made his church?

Do you think God gave us this parallel to show us how he loves us or to teach us how we should love our wives? Why?

How many of you sacrificed some of your time – guy time – in the last week?

If Ephesians 6 is the standard job description for being a good husband, how do you think your wife would rate your job performance on a scale of 1 to 10?


What was it about your wife that first attracted you to her?

When was it that you knew that you wanted to marry your wife? How did you know?

Are you ever reminded of the woman you first fell in love with these days? What triggers you to see her as that same girl you wanted to propose to all those years ago?

What are some things you can do to become better helpers to your wife?

How can you become a better friend and partner to your wife?

Are there things in your relationship that are more likely to trigger fights? Can you think of any strategies to help you avoid negative conflicts (or help others in this group to do so)?

What little sacrifice could you make this week to give her a romantic surprise and (maybe) reminder of the guy she wanted to marry?

Will you do it?


It doesn’t take much some days to show your wife you love her, but it does require an effort on our parts. Don’t take her for granted. And don’t try to work her like a machine. Remember the wife of your youth (Proverbs 5:18). Remember the vow you made to be her partner. And never be shy about sacrificing for her, just as Jesus did for us.


Dear God,

Forgive us for the times we take our wives for granted. Forgive us for phoning in our marital duties and not paying enough attention to our wives’ needs. Help us to love and cherish them as you loved us, and give us strong marriages so we can withstand the hard times in life.

In Jesus’s name,